The first time that I probably should have said "Screw it."

Well we might as well start with the best one. 

Something happened very early on in MTM's life that sort of defined how things were going to go.  So it's probably a good place to kick this off. 

Our first production in 2006 was an outdoor production of Hair, directed by yours truly.  Awesome concept, right?  Diane Paulus totally copied me.  Anyway we did it outdoors in a park at the Lussier Family Heritage Center (except Saturdays, when we had to move to nearby Lake Farm Park...but that actually was the least of our issues.) 

We went to see the venue and I was like "Holy crap, this is awesome! There's a fire pit! We can actually have them burn their draft cards!"  I proceeded to stage the entire show with the fire pit as a center piece.  It was cool.  I loved it.  And I still love that they were able to light a fire and then burn their cards for real. 

Side note: Some other things I loved about that show: The outdoor factor and it getting dimmer outside as the story got darker.  We had, for the most part, a very strong cast and an outstanding band.  And while there were some issues, for a young director I thought my concept was pretty good. 

Things I did not like about that show: The mosquitoes.  The plethora of sound problems.  The generator issue.  The mosquitoes.  Rain.  The ducks. The mosquitoes.  The nearby music festival in the same park that no one told me about.  The park ranger.  And what I'm about to tell you. 

Don't worry, I promise to tell you about the park ranger another time. 

So anyway, we had our first weekend of shows and things went...well the show was fine but behind the scenes was nutty as is probably to be expected for a first time theatre company with an inexperienced manager trying to run it.   But we had three weekends of shows, and I was optimistic that our crowds would get better and we'd continue to get into a groove. 

The shows were Thursday-Saturday.  The Wednesday before the second weekend,  I got a call. 

Lady: Hi, this is (I forget her name) from the Lussier Family Heritage Center

Me: Hi. 

Lady: Listen, there's something I need to alert you to. 

Me; Okay, what's up?

Lady: Well, earlier this week the Parks Department did something that was not approved by the board but they did it anyway. 

Me: What did they do? 

Lady: Well, they dug up the fire pit and moved it five feet closer to the building. 

Me:  .......

Lady: Yeah it was very odd-there is a gentleman running the Parks Department who gave the go ahead for it to be done, even though the board hadn't approved it, and I got here today and saw it like this. 

Me: So....it's still there though right? 

Lady: Yes.  It's just five feet closer to the building. 

Me: So...they actually dug up the cement fire pit from under ground and moved it five feet closer to the building for absolutely no reason? 

Lady: Yes. 

Me: .....Okay. 

So alright.  Well, we had adjust a few things spacing wise, and there would be some dirt but whatever.  We'd deal with it.  We had no choice. 

The next day on my lunch break I went to do a TV interview at Channel 3.  When I came out, there was a monsoon.  

This is the gist of the parking lot.  Some creative liberties may have been taken. 

Wow, I thought.  I hope the show doesn't get rained out.  Because that's the worst thing that could happen.  The very worst. 

Well come 6:30 we had nice clear skies and were getting ready to do the show so that wasn't a problem at all. 

What WAS a problem was that typically in the process of digging a cement fixture out of the ground and then reburying it, there tends to be some dirt.   And, see, when it rains...

You see where this is going I assume. 

Figuratively...  I think. 

I had about an hour to figure out what to do, otherwise it would have been Hair with a mudwrestling concept thrown in.  Not to mention my actors could have easily slipped and smacked their heads on the fire pit (BUT IT'S OKAY IT'S FIVE FEET CLOSER TO THE BUILDING AND THAT'S SO MUCH BETTER!!!!) 

 SO I found a barn.  Inside the barn was some straw.  I took the straw, a wheelbarrow and a pitchfork and covered the muddy part of the "stage" with straw.  This took awhile but that's because there was quite a bit of area to cover-you know, the place where they dug the fire pit out and then the spot where they dug up a new space to put it back in. 

It looked like outdoor Oklahoma but it was fine.  Picking up the straw they tracked through the downstairs of the Heritage Center was not fine.  That blew. 

Epilogue: Eventually all that straw had to be picked up.  For whatever reason, I decided it would be a good idea to do it right before the show, during which time we had local bands playing.  (I guess it was very important to me that there not be straw on the stage if there didn't have to be). So I got out the pitchfork and the wheelbarrow and proceeded to start cleaning it up.  (Why did I not do this before everyone got there? Good question.)  My parents laughed at me.  But while I was picking it up, there was a band playing.  It was called...wait for it....Jammin' With Jesus.  They had a blind piano player.  So picture if you will a 9 piece church band standing on a bunch of straw and me maneuvering a wheelbarrow around them trying to pick up straw, including trying to make sure I didn't knock over the blind lady. 

Moral of the story: Well it's twofold.  Part One: Be explicitly clear with your venue, particularly venues that do not normally accommodate theatre, about what your needs are.  If you are doing anything even the slightest bit unconventional, get both parties confirmed in writing so all are on the same page.  Do not assume anything. (Including that the venue will look the same way every time you come to it.) Sit down with people and make sure they understand what you need and what you will be doing. 

In this case I'm not sure it that would have worked.  So Part Two: Figure. It. Out. Go into problem solving mode immediately.  (I should have gone to the venue first thing after the rain let up to assess my options. I should have bounced ideas off of people. And I should have figured out a way to save face that did not involve me endangering the blind.)  You do not have time for freakout mode.  Sometimes I still forget this and sometimes I still need the time.  So I allow a five minute swearing, punching, throwing things window (if there are five minutes to be had) and then I move on.  The most important thing to remember when having your freakout moments is to do it out of view of the cast and crew, and NEVER take it out on them. 

In the meantime, no more outdoor shows.